Kitsune Fun
by ZodiacWiz
Summary: Shippou's ready to run and play with a variety of weapons at his dissposal. Chaos for the Inu Yasha cast! *_~ Hypno Shippou takes requests!!
1. Shippou's KikyoBash Sonfic

Hello! Shippou here writing my own fanfic! ^_^ I just got bored and ZodiacWiz let me use her laptop. So I heard this song and it reminded me of Kikyo. Kagome told me it was an old song but I think it DEFINATLY resembles Kikyo. So here we go as we start the story with a little Kikyo bashing. Review if you feel me on the subject.  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: Shippou's Kikyo-Bash Sonfic  
  
  
  
Kikyo is walking down the road, getting closer and closer to Musahi's Domain. Shippou is sitting in a tree eating a persimmon. His ears twitch as he hears her coming. He looks up and see's her walking at her not-so-fast pace. 'Uh-oh, here's trouble.' He thought. Then he reaches into a knot hole in the tree and pulls out Kagome's sterio. He puts a cassette tape in and presses play. Saxaphone and keyboard music started to flow from the speakers.  
  
Kikyo looked around trying to figure out where it was coming from. She kept walking thinking it would go away. Shippou skipped along the branches like a squirrel. Then he jumped on a branch that bended down behind Kikyo. "She'll only come out at night!" he sang and the branch flung him back upward just as Kikyo looked behind to see what made that noise.  
  
He ran on the branches above her. "A mean and hungry time. Nothing to do, but see the head before. Watching and waiting, ooh she's sitting with you, but her eyes are on the door!" There was a small pause as she glanced around her in annoyance.  
  
"So many are pained to see, what 'chu think, you'll get her for free, the women is wild, but you can tell form her red Jaguar. Mind is a matter, if your ready for love, you ain't gonna get too far."  
  
Kikyo started to load her bow and arrow but Shippou doesn't notice. "Whoa here she comes! Watch out boy, she'll chew you up! Oh-oh, here she comes! She's a man eater!"  
  
TWANG!  
  
"EEK!" Shippou scampered off as the arrow came inches from his tail.  
  
  
  
Shippou ran back to Musashi's Domain. "Oh-oh here she comes! Watch out boy, she'll chew you up! Oh-oh here she comes! She's a man eater!"  
  
He ran over to where Kagome and Inu Yasha were sitting. He jumped in front of Inu Yasha, "I wouldn't if I were you!" Then he hid behind the dog demon and watched as Kikyo came up over the hill, "I know what she can do! She's deadly mad, she could really rip your world apart!" Inu Yasha glared at him and Kagome sweatdropped.  
  
"Mind over matter!" Shippou climbed on Inu Yasha's head, and looked down at him with his arms folded. "Oh the beauty is there, but a beast is in the heart!"  
  
Inu Yasha gave him a warning growl and Shippou jumped into Kagome's lap. "Oh-oh, here she come! Watch out boy! She'll chew you up! Oh-oh here she comes! she's a man eater!"  
  
Kikyo glared at him as she came over. Kagome and Inu Yasha stood up and Shippou stood in the middle of the three. "Oh-oh, here she comes! Watch out boy, she'll chew you up! Oh-oh, here she comes! She's a man eater!" Shippou did a few dance moves during the saxophone solo and they all stared down at him with sweatdrops. Then Miroku and Sango came walking over.  
  
"Oh-oh hear she comes!" They sang.  
  
"Hear she comes!" Shippou sang. "Watch out boy she'll chew you up! Wohoa, here she comes-"  
  
"-Watch out!-"  
  
"She's a man eater!" Shippou danced around in his little circle. Inu Yasha sighed in irritation. Shippou sang, "Wohoa, here she comes! She's a man eat-GAH!" Inu Yasha kicked him into a tree. Sango and Miroku ran away.  
  
"SIT!"  
  
WHAM!  
  
#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@  
  
How do you like that? You try to help someone and-BOOM!-They kick you into a tree! T_T 


	2. HypnoShippou

Whew! This is so much fun! Well I get to use the laptop again and now it's time for the HypnoShippou part of our fic!  
  
  
  
Chapter2: Hypno-Shippou  
  
  
  
Shippou sat on top of Kagome's backpack stuffing herbs into a seashell. He glued the seashell shut and tied it to the end of a chain. Inu Yasha had been watching, "What are you doing?" he asked.  
  
"Making a Hoobie!" Shippou said.  
  
"A WHAT?!" Kagome said.  
  
"That doesn't sound right." ;;; Sango said.  
  
"Shippou?" Kagome asked, "What is a Hoo-hoo-?"  
  
"A Hoobie, it's cool! Wanna see?" Shippou said.  
  
They looked hesitantly at him and nodded.  
  
He told Inu Yasha to sit in front of him. "Now, relax," Shippou said. He held up the chain and the shell started to swing back and forth. "and watch the hoobie."  
  
"Feh." Inu Yasha said and watched it with a scowl.  
  
Then Shippou spoke in a soft and hypnotic voice. "Now you are relaxed, you feel sooooooo tired, we've been walking all day and you deserve a rest, time to relax and sleeeeeeep, sleeeeeep, go tooooo sleeeeep...." Inu Yasha blinked unevenly with heavy eyelids then his eyes closed.  
  
"Ah!" the others sat in awe as Shippou put Inu Yasha into a trance.  
  
"Not bad, Shippou-chan!" Kagome said. "Are you going to do anything with him?"  
  
"Make him think he's Romeo from Romeo and Juliet!" Sango said.  
  
"Make him dance ballet!" Kagome said.  
  
"Make him think he's a genius!" Miroku said.  
  
"He already does that!" Shippou said. He stopped the chain and spoke again to Inu Yasha, "Inu Yasha? Can you hear me?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
Shippou licked his lips. "Okay now, listen carefully. When I clap my hands, you will think you're a regular mortal dog. When I snap my fingers, you will go back into a trance." Shippou smiled and clapped his hands.  
  
Inu Yasha opened his eyes and looked up.  
  
He looked at everyone and said, "RUFF RUFF!" He lifted his leg and scratched his ear with it.  
  
Sango laughed hysterically.  
  
"Awwww! He's so cute!" Kagome said as they watched him chase an invisible tail. Then all of a sudden he stopped and sniffed the air. He looked over at Kirara.  
  
Kirara: Mew?  
  
Inu Yasha: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!  
  
Kirara hissed and sprinted away. Inu Yasha bounded after her barking madly. "Inu Yasha! No! Heel boy!" Kagome shouted.  
  
  
  
They brought him back and they decided to keep him like that for a while.  
  
"Like the stick? You want the stick?" Kagome held the stick over the dog boy. Inu Yasha jumped up and down panting and running around in small circles. "Yes! You want the stick!" ^_^ she cooed. She threw the stick and he ran after it. He came back, dropped the stick at her feet, and looked up at her to throw it again.  
  
She laughed and picked it up. "FETCH!" She threw it again. He came back with it in his mouth.  
  
"Good boy! Now give it here!" she said. She tried to take it out of his mouth. He wouldn't let go, he smiled and growled playfully. She laughed, "Come on, Inu Yasha! Let go!" he finally let go then chomped on Miroku's staff.  
  
"HEY!" Miroku shouted. Then Inu Yasha ran off with the staff and Miroku running after him.  
  
  
  
"Maybe we should keep him this way." Kagome said. The dog Inu Yasha purred against her leg.  
  
"I like him better this way." Sango said.  
  
Then all of a sudden Kagome felt a weird feeling on her leg. O_O "SHIPPOU!"  
  
Miroku looked up. O_o He covered Shippou's eyes.  
  
"Hey!" Shippou shouted.  
  
"I thought this was a PG fic!!" Sango sweatdropped and looked away herself. "Help!" Kagome shouted.  
  
Shippou snapped his fingers and Inu Yasha immediately woke up from the trance and saw what he was "doing."  
  
Inu Yasha: OO GAH!!!  
  
He jumped into the tree branch above. "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!"  
  
"Don't do that anymore Shippou." Miroku said.  
  
"Fine! I'll stop." Shippou said. "-for tonight." ^^  
  
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Hypno Shippou takes requests! .... STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!! ;;;; 


	3. Shippou's Inu Yasha Explaination Songfic

Hello! It's me again! I've got so much more planned. I just figured out that I'm supposed to say that I do not own myself or any of the characters in my story. I'm not sure why, it's not like there is some lady in Kagome's time writing anime about our lives, right?  
  
Anyway, Kikyo is about to leave when I stumbled upon a song that reminds me of Inu Yasha's polygamy based relationship with Kagome and Kikyo.  
  
  
  
Chapter 3: Shippou's Inu Yasha Explanation Songfic  
  
  
  
  
  
Inu Yasha walked out of Kaede's hut with Kikyo. She kissed him on the cheek and started to walk off. Kagome sat under a nearby tree looking sad. Shippou sat in the branches overhead. He pulled Kagome's stereo out of his pocket. He popped a cassette in and pressed play. Guitar music started to come from the speakers.  
  
"Once again, I just can't get it straight." The guy on the stereo sang.  
  
Inu Yashastared out after Shippou with puppydog eyes.  
  
"Wondern' if wandern' is my fate!"  
  
He glanced out of the corner of his eye at Kagome.  
  
"Don't lose hope in me quite yet, cause help must be on the way, any day."  
  
He started to walk over toward her.  
  
"From my head, to my heart, can't seem to find a way, their so far apart, it's not you, it's not your fault! You've got everything, I could ever want."  
  
She glanced over at him then looked away sadly hoping to god that she wouldn't start crying.  
  
"And you've always understood my intentions were good and we've been so close from the start,"  
  
Inu Yasha sat next to her looking out at the mountains.  
  
"But the furthest distance I've ever known is my head to my heart!"  
  
Shippou lay back with his hands behind his head on the branch.  
  
"I feel the distance, standing here next to you. I don't want to keep you waiting, but I've been waiting too!"  
  
Inu Yasha glanced at Kagome and looked away. She glanced at him then looked away. Then they both glanced at each other and looked away with a sweatdrop.  
  
"Someday, if I get there, and you still want me too, we can see it through."  
  
They glimpsed over at each other again and were kind of locked in gazes.  
  
"From my head, to my heart, can't seem to find a way, their so far apart, it's not you! It's not your fault! You've got everything, I could ever want. And you've always understood, my intentions were good, and we've been so close from the start. But the furthest distance I've ever known is from my head to my hear-" The sterio fell out of the tree and hit the ground nest to them.  
  
"EEEP! Kagome jumped and hugged Inu Yasha in fear. She looked over at the stereo and freaked out. "Oh my god! That was expensive!"  
  
"Oops!" Shippou said. ;;;;  
  
Inu Yasha kicked the tree and Shippou fell out of it to. He caught the kitsune by the tail and Shippou stared up at him terrified.  
  
"What does that song imply?" Inu Yasha asked.  
  
Shippou frowned at him and shouted, "It means that when it comes to love, you've got your head up your-GAH!" Inu Yasha kicked him back up into the tree. Kagome looked up from her shattered stereo and shouted. "SIT BOY!"  
  
"NOT AGAIN-!"  
  
WHAM!  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
I don't think I should be getting all of these injuries in here! I might as well rename the fic "Jackass"! _ 


	4. Fluffy Got Back!

WARNING: This segment is so wrong, yet hilariously funny. At least I think so. But if you read this fic, you will either laugh your head off or be scarred for life. Read with caution.  
  
(BTW: This'll probably be the last songfic I write for this story. (That is unless you enjoy the songfics))  
  
I don't own Inu Yasha, and I don't own the song, "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix- A-Lot.  
  
  
  
Chapter 4: Fluffy Got Tail!  
  
  
  
Sango and Kagome walk on screen and stand staring at the people reading this. Shippou whispers from off screen, "Psst! Kagome!"  
  
Kagome looks over at him. "Huh? Oh yeah!" she pulls out her script and reads over it one more time before putting it away. She cleared her throat and said, "Oh-my-god! Sango, look at his tail! It is SO big! Hah!" Shippou walks by swishing his tail provocatively.  
  
"He looks like one of those fangirl's sexgods!" Sango said as Sesshomaru walked past, followed by Rin, whom was wearing a white feathery boa around her neck. "But you know, who understands those fangirls."  
  
"They only talk to him because he's a total bishi!" Kagome said.  
  
"I mean his tail!" Sango said. "I can't believe it's so fluffy, it's like out there I mean, hah! Wow!"  
  
They looked over at the three whom had their backs turned to them with their tails wagging. Then Kagome said, "He's just so-hot!"  
  
Shippou turned around with a microphone in his hand, "I like big tails and I cannot lie! You rabid fangirls can't deny, that when a kit walks in with a Kawaii-waii face and a fluffy thing in your face you get sprung!" he smiled at Kagome and Sango and wagged his tail. They both smiled and said at the same time, "Kawaii!" **^_^**  
  
"Wanna pet that stuff cause you noticed that tail was fluffed." Close up of the beauty and glory that is Sesshomaru's tail. "Downy is the thing he's wearn', I'm hooked and I can't stop starn' oh Fluf-fy they wanna get wit'cha and take your pict'cha! Your home girls trying to war ye, but tail he gots is oh so fluffy!"  
  
"'Gots' isn't a word." Sesshomaru said.  
  
"Whatever," Shippou said. Rin twirls her boa in the air and starts to sing into her mike, "Ooh, combn' and fluffn', you say you wanna write his fics? We love Sessy, we love Sessy, cause he ain't that average bi-shi!"  
  
"You see us primpn', and sometimes crimp'n, let-us pet, we've got it goin' like a turbo vet!"  
  
"What does that have to do with tails?" Kagome asked.  
  
"I don't know, but I don't know what else to replace that rhyme with." Shippou said.  
  
"I'm tired of magazines," Sesshomaru said, "Saying cat tails all the thing."  
  
Rin sang, "Take an average dog and a tail so wak, fluffiness it doesn't lack,"  
  
Shippou went over to where the zombies were standing, "So fellas!"  
  
"Yeah!" the zombies shouted.  
  
"Fellas!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Does the bishi got the tail?" Shippou asked.  
  
"Hell yeah!" Jakotsu shouted.  
  
"Wag it!" Shippou said.  
  
"Wag it!"  
  
"Wag it!"  
  
"Wag it!"  
  
"Wag that healthy tail! Fluffy got tail!" the zombies shouted.  
  
Some village guys are break dancing. Miroku is sitting and rapping the records on a turn table.  
  
"I like em' round and big!" Rin sang. "And when I'm doin' this gig, I just can't help but stare-at the real tails! Now here's our ideal! I wanna take you home and oh! Brush it down! Oh! OH!"  
  
"You ain't talkn' playgirl, cause this fic is rated PG!" Shippou sang. Everyone sweatdropped.  
  
"I want em' real soft and fluffy, so find that hair kit, wanna make some hair nits, beggn' for a piece of those lock-ets!" Rin sang.  
  
"So I'm lookn' at hanyos, stupid bimbo, real wanna-knows!" Shippou sang.  
  
"Wanna know how to get it, to be so freakn' fluffy!"  
  
"We'll wear em' to the fic, solesista's! We won't cuss, or hit'cha! But we wanna be straight when we wanna be cute--till the end of the book!" Shippou sang. "Fluffy got it goin' on, alota stuff roled into this song! Cause all of you would sit and comb it, for hours just to enjoy it!" He wagged his own tail and it sparkled with fluffiness. "Cause their long, and they're strong, and we're gonna have a fic showdown!"  
  
"What does that mean?" Inu Yasha asked.  
  
"Shut up!" Shippou shouted. Then he stood in front of Kagome, Sango, and a bunch of fangirls. "So, Sessy!"  
  
"What?" Sesshomaru asked.  
  
"Sessy!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Do you wanna impress the ladies?"  
  
"I guess..."  
  
"Then turn around! Stick it out!" Sesshomaru did that and all of the fan girls watching swooned and screamed.  
  
Shippou jumped on top of Inu Yasha's head, "Even hanyo's gotta shout! Sessy got back!" Inu Yasha made a grab for Shippou but Shippou jumped into the tree branch above.  
  
"Yeah, Baby!" Shippou sang. He lay in a comfortable postion on the branch wagging his tail. "When it comes to my provision, tailless hanyo's got nothing on me!" Inu Yasha growled up at him.  
  
Rin started to sing, "So a Ranma rolls a Honda? Sayn' writers corresponda, but Ranma ain't got a tail in the back a' his Honda! My Fluffy- sama-don't-want-none-unless-you've-got-tail-hon!"  
  
"You can do fast wags and helicopter!" Shippou sang. "But please don't lose that tail! Some people wanna be so simple, and say that tail ain't gold, so they toss it and leave it, and fangirls come to retrieve it. So hanyo's say it's fat, well we ain't down wit dat! Cause our faces' kawaii and our tails are kickn'! And we're thinkn' about stickn', all of the jealous hanyos-on a big boat gonna be afloat till it hits the Bermuda Triangle!  
  
The knuckle-head-hanyo trying to diss, cause our tails are on your list, he had ears but he chose to hide em', fangirls chose to worship the tailem'!"  
  
"Tailsem'?" Sesshomaru said.  
  
"Shh!" Shippou said.  
  
"I like this song." Sesshomaru said with a slight smile.  
  
"S ladies if the tail is fluffy, amd you wanna good fic written down, dial 1-900-SESS-A-LOT and branch them nasty thoughts! Fluffy got back!" There was a bunch of dancing. Shippou was a great breakdancer.  
  
"Kawaii are our faces but we got much tail!" Rin sang.  
  
"Kawaii are our faces but we got much tail!" Shippou sang. He looked over at Inu Yasha, "Ugly is his face and he got no tail!"  
  
Inu Yasha jumped up and kicked Shippou into a tree.  
  
KER-ACK!  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
MAN! What is it with him and trees!!!! 


	5. Shippou's REvengeThe Trilogy!

Hi! It's me Shippou! I know that the title "Shippou's Revenge" was coined by Scorpiogal, but I got full permission from the lady herself. Now it's time for me to get even with a certain Lameo hanyo!  
  
  
  
Chapter 5: Shippou's Revenge-The Trilogy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Inu Yasha sat in the tree a few feet away from the well, Kagome climbed out and Miroku and Sango came to greet her. Inu Yasha was about to jump down and tell her she was late, when Shippou's hoobie appeared in front of his face. He sat staring at it as Shippou hung from the branch above. He started to swing the seashell back and forth and Inu Yasha did nothing but sit and watch.  
  
"Relax," Shippou said in a hypnotically soothing voice. "Goooo toooo sleeeeeep..yoooou muuusst sleeeep....cloooose yooouurr eeeeyyess.."  
  
Inu Yasha leaned back against the tree and fell into trance. Shippou put the hoobie in his kimono and spoke to him. "Inu Yasha? Can you hear me? If you hear me, nod."  
  
Inu Yasha nodded.  
  
"Alright, then, listen carefully." Shippou said. He smiled evilly and said. "You are a world famous dancer from Chip & Dales. There is no woman who doesn't want you and you know it. You, the sexiest man with the most sex appeal is about to give your greatest performance yet-the full Monty. And I your manager shall give you the assignment. Understand?"  
  
Inu Yasha nodded and licked his lips.  
  
Shippou jumped onto the branch smiling. "Okay, are you ready? Now when I snap my fingers, you'll wake up." He snapped his fingers.  
  
Inu Yasha blinked awake. He jumped onto the ground and Shippou followed. "Well," Inu Yasha asked in a strange voice. "Just name the place and the time, I'm ready!" he said with an interesting smile.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Where's Inu Yasha?" Kagome asked. "I haven't seen him since I got back."  
  
"Dunno," Sango said. "Probably sleeping or something."  
  
Suddenly Inu Yasha walked onto a clear patch of dirt and stood there with his hands on his hips and a cool smile.  
  
"There he is!" Miroku pointed and the three of them turned to look at him. Inu Yasha turned his head to look at Shippou. The kitsune sat on a nearby rock and gave him a thumbs up. Inu Yasha nodded and turned to face the passerby villagers.  
  
"May I have your attention, please!" he shouted. Some people stopped to look at him or looked at him as they walked by. Kagome, Miroku and Sango walked over. Inu Yasha did a pose that said, 'I'm a sex symbol and you want me!'  
  
"Get ready, ladies and germs! For one night only, I'm going for the FULL MONTY!" He shook his hips in a forward motion and said. "Honk if you see anything you like!" and he wiggled his tongue at them.  
  
"WAH?!" Kagome gaped.  
  
"What's 'the full Monty?'" Sango asked.  
  
Kagome explained it to both of them.  
  
"Oh!" Miroku said. The three of them looked at Inu Yasha and sweatdropped. Inu Yasha turned around. Shippou pulled Kagome's new CD player/stereo out from behind the rock and pushed play. The song "Hot in Herre" by Nelly started playing. Inu Yasha bounced his body a couple of times before turning around and doing his stripper dance. Some villagers were starting to stop and watch.  
  
"What's he doing?!" Kagome said.  
  
"He's going for the full Monty." Miroku sighed in irritation as Inu Yasha threw his jacket out into the crowd.  
  
"I know that, but why?" Kagome said. She looked over at Shippou who was just sitting on the rock polishing his hoobie. He stopped to smile evilly up at Inu Yasha then continue with the cleaning. The three of them went over to Shippou. He looked up and saw a not pleased Kagome.  
  
"Hi!" he said with a cute little smile.  
  
"Shippou?" Kagome said in her 'explain now' voice.  
  
"What?!" Shippou said.  
  
"Did you hypnotize Inu Yasha, Shippou?" Miroku asked.  
  
"I'm just getting even! What's wrong with that?" Shippou said.  
  
Inu Yasha came over with his white shirt gone. "Excuse me?" he said to them. "Could you keep it down?"  
  
"Sure!" Shippou said.  
  
Inu Yasha went back to what he was doing. About the whole village was around him now.  
  
"Shippou!" Kagome said.  
  
"I'll bring him too when he's done!" Shippou said. "Look! He's almost done anyway!"  
  
Inu Yasha tore off his pants and underneath he had this wrap, diaper, sumo thing as underwear (Watch Samuri Jack to know what I'm talking about.) He tossed the pants out into the crowd and a bunch of rabid fangirls caught it. He drew Tetsusaiga and put it infront of "himself."  
  
He ripped off the underwear thing and held it in the air. There was a whole bunch of cheering.  
  
"Oh, my god!" Kagome put her burning face in her hands. Inu Yasha tossed it at her. Then he danced around the tetsusaiga in a 360 and lifted it over his shoulder. The audience screamed with cheers and claps.  
  
"Oookaaaayy..." Shippou held up his hand in a finger snapping position. "NOW!"  
  
SNAP!  
  
Inu Yasha blinked into consciousness and looked around. "Where am I? Wasn't I just in a tree?" then he looked upward in time to see gold coins and yen being thrown at him. "Wha'da hell!" he shouted.  
  
Then he looked down. He stood there quietly for a few seconds. Then he looked up at Shippou with an expression that Sesshomaru would use when he was mad. Shippou gulped.  
  
Inu Yasha casually walked over and sat next to the Kitsune. "Shippou."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did you hypnotize me again?" Inu Yasha asked.  
  
"...." ;;;;  
  
"Shippou?"  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"Oh." Inu Yasha said. "That's what I though." He swung at Shippou, but the fox kid ducked and ran off into the woods screaming. Inu Yasha started to run after him but stopped in runner's stance. If he was going to chase after Shippou, he might as well get dressed first. He walked over to the crowd of people that had his coat. He held out his hand, "Coat, please." He said. They walked away.  
  
So he went over to the people that had his shirt. "Shirt, please." He said. They walked away.  
  
The group of fangirls were busy fighting over his pants. Inu Yasha walked away.  
  
He went over to Kagome who had the underwear thing. He held out his hand, "Underwear, please." Kagome looked at the white cloth in her hands then blushed at Inu Yasha's perfect body.  
  
"Kagome! Underwear, please!" he said impatiently. She held it out to him. He took it and put it on.  
  
He started to walk off when he heard Kagome, "Inu Yasha!"  
  
"What?" he turned around to look at her.  
  
She smiled and winked at him. "Honk, honk!"  
  
******************************************************  
  
What?! Don't look at me!!! It was a request!! ^^ Anyway, I'm not satisfied with this. I'm going to have to continue the humiliation on Dogboy. 


	6. Shippou and the Curse of ZAP!

Happy Christmas!  
  
Happy Hanukah!  
  
Happy Kwanzaa!  
  
Happy Birthday!  
  
Happy whatever else there is!  
  
  
  
Chapter 6: The S.S. Loveboat  
  
  
  
Sango sat on deck brushing Kirara's fur. She looked up as the first stars of night started to set in. She was afraid for her safety, Miroku was bad in the day time, try to imagine how perverted and creepy he'd be at night, on a boat in the middle of the ocean, alone with her. She shivered. The tanuki was in the kitchen making the dinner.  
  
Suddenly, Sango shivered. She felt an eerie presence behind her. Her heart pounded as she slowly turned to glance over her shoulder.  
  
"Hi!" Miroku said.  
  
Sango screamed and jumped back in shock.  
  
"Are you alright, Sango?" Miroku asked tilting his head to the side innocently.  
  
"Don't do that!!" she shouted.  
  
"Sango, if your scared or cold, you can lean on me!" he said taking her hands.  
  
She pulled her hands away. "I mean it, Houshi-sama, if you don't stop doing that kind of stuff-"  
  
"Ah-ah, Sango!" He waved a finger at her and smiled. "On land I'm Houshi- sama, on the sea, I'm captain Miroku of the S.S."-he put an arm around her waist in an intimate way.-"Loveboat." He patted her butt.  
  
Sango reached into her kimono and pulled out something she found in the daredevil's workshop. "KEEP YOURHANDS TO YOURSELF!" She turned it on and jabbed it into his crotch.  
  
BUUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Miroku screamed in pain and rolled onto the floor.  
  
Sango winced as she heard clapping and cheering behind her. She spun around and saw the Zodiacgirls standing on the rail of the boat. She put her stun- gun away.  
  
"Nice one!" Tigress said and they crowded around Miroku. He let out a bunch of Japanese cuss words.  
  
"I knew he swears!" ZodiacPoodle said.  
  
ZodiacTigress laughed and said, "Better get that checked, you might not be able to give a child now!"  
  
Miroku's eyes widened in horror and the girls laughed harder. Then they turned to Sango who was staring at them in confusion.  
  
ZP: "WAAAAZZZZUUPP!!!"  
  
ZT: "WWWAAAZZZZUUUPPPP!!!!!"  
  
ZB: "KEETCHUUUP!!!"  
  
Sango sweatdropped, "Who are you?"  
  
"Weeeeee'reee-" They jumped back and made super heroin poses, "The Zodiac Girls!"  
  
"And we've come to check on you!" ZodiacTigress said.  
  
"Check on us?" Sango said.  
  
"Rules and Regulations," ZodiacPoodle said. A book titled "Da Rules" appeared in front of her. She took it and turned to a specific page, "Paragraph three section four of the rat race game for shikon jewels: 'The Zodiac Girls are aloud to check on the players to make sure the occupants here within are not cheating and the Zodiac Girls are aloud to do what they please with the players as long as it doesn't involve death or serious injury-physically.'"  
  
They looked down at Miroku then Tigress said, "Well that was her, not us."  
  
"It looks like it would have been fun though." ZodiacBunny said resting her hands on her head.  
  
  
  
"So what do you wanna do?" ZodiacTigress asked after dinner.  
  
"Do? We won't do anything but sleep." ZodiacPoodle said sitting comfortably.  
  
"Ah, come on, Poodle! Live a little!" Bunny smiled.  
  
Poodle sweatdropped at her.  
  
The tanuki came in and said, "Would you like some more ice, Miroku?"  
  
Miroku whimpered.  
  
"Okay." The tanuki said and went back out.  
  
"Will you get over it! It didn't hurt that bad did it?" ZodiacPoodle said.  
  
Miroku whimpered.  
  
"I know what'll cheer you up! A game!" ZodiacBunny said twisting her leg over the back of her neck.  
  
"What game do you wanna play?" ZodiacTigress asked.  
  
"Cards!" ZodiacBunny held up a deck of playing cards.  
  
"What game?" ZodiacPoodle asked sitting up straight.  
  
ZodiacBunny thought about it then smiled, "Strip-Go Fish!"  
  
Miroku straightened up like he wasn't even in pain a second ago. "Yeah! Let's play!"  
  
"Pervert." Sango grumbled.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Got any threes?"  
  
"Nope, Go fish."  
  
"Got any fives?"  
  
"Yeah." Miroku handed ZodiacBunny a five. She set her remaining cards down and squealed, "Eeee! I win again!" She sat with a big pile of everyone's clothes behind her. Miroku tossed what last of his clothes he had onto the pile. He was in heaven! It didn't matter that he was the only guy there who had lost, but that three fourths of the girls had lost as well.  
  
ZodiacPoodle sighed with her arms crossed, "We should have known not to play against her."  
  
"And the funny thing is," ZodiacTigress said. "I've been listening to her mind waves this whole time, and she hasn't had a single thought!"  
  
ZodiacBunny laughed stupidly. She put ZodiacPoodl's white fingerless gloves on her hands, ZodiacTigress's boots on, Sango's exterminator mask over her right eye and held miroku's staff in her right hand. "Look at me! I'm Pood-iger-ang-oku!" The three girls flew off. Sango pulled her legs up in front of her and just sat there blushing. Then she felt a blanket drape over her. She looked up and saw Miroku smile down at her. It wasn't a letcherous smile, but a kind one.  
  
"The sea is very cold." He said, pulling a separate blanket around himself.  
  
Sango pulled the blanket around herself and looked away even more embarrassed then before. "Thank you."  
  
"Your very welcome." He said and went inside the boat.  
  
666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666  
  
Awwwww! I should write Miroku/Sango stuff more often! ^_^ 


	7. Goodbye Naraku!

A little segment saying what happened to the badies, enjoy! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 7: Ordeals of Bad Guys  
  
  
  
Zodiac Bunny went hopping through the woods looking for an inconspicuous place to sit. She jumped into a tree and looked around to make sure no one could see her or find her out. Then she giggled and pulled out a Naraku plushie. She turned it over and it had a little pull string on its back. She grinned with excitement and pulled the cord. As it wound back in, the doll said, "Kukukuku!" she squealed with glee and pulled the cord again.  
  
"Kukukukuku!"  
  
*zip!*  
  
"Kukukukuku!"  
  
*zip!*  
  
"Kukukukuku!"  
  
She snickered then heard someone behind her clear their voice. She sweatdropped and turned to see the real Naraku sitting on the opposite branch juggling an Easter egg with one hand.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Kagura?" Kanna asked her sister.  
  
"Yeah, Kanna?"  
  
"Why is Kikyo following us?" the little girl asked looking back at the demonic priestess.  
  
"How should I know? Maybe she'll get bored and go away." Kagura said.  
  
They walked through a town. Kanna was looking at a map. "I think we're in San Diego."  
  
"San Diego? Why haven't I ever heard of these weirdo places?" Kagura asked herself. "How's our money anyway?"  
  
"Actually," Kanna held up the feudal money. "I don't think this will work here."  
  
"Crap." Kagura said. "Does that mean we have to work?"  
  
"I didn't know you two worked." Kikyo said.  
  
"Shut up, you hoer! No one asked you!" Kagura said. Then she and Kikyo flew into a word fight while Kanna watched. Then all of a sudden, they heard a scream. Kagura and Kikyo stopped fighting to look in the direction it came from. Zodiac Bunny came bounding down the street while being chased by Naraku with Buyo clinging to his shoulders.  
  
"Leave me alone! Monkeys are scary!" ZodiacBunny screamed. "Especially baboon ones!"  
  
"That must be the lesson of the day." Kagura said.  
  
Zodiac Bunny ran past them screaming. As Naraku ran past Kagura stepped on the hem of his baboon suit and it ripped off. Naraku stopped and looked at his ripped suit. "Kagura! You stupid wench! That was my trade mark outfit!"  
  
ZodiacBunny stopped running and looked back at Naraku. She smiled and her eyes became two large hearts. "Oooooooooh!" *v*  
  
The three demons all looked at her and then Kanna said to Naraku, "If I were you, I'd start running." ZodiacBunny came running over. She jumped at Naraku and glomped his neck. "You're so pretty!" she screeched.  
  
Naraku started choaking.  
  
"This might be interesting." Kagura said smiling.  
  
"Meow." Buyo said.  
  
"Kagura! Kanna! As my servants, I order you to save me!" he shouted between choaks.  
  
"I thought this game was every man or woman for themselves." Kagura said with a smile. All of a sudden an American dollar fell out of Naraku's robes. Kanna picked it up and gave it to her sister. "How did you get this?" Kagura asked.  
  
"It's every man for themselves!" Naraku said.  
  
"He probably stole it." Kikyo said.  
  
"We need this money!" Kagura said. "Tell us where to steal it from!"  
  
"I'll only help you if you get this monster off of me!" Naraku gasped as ZodiacBunny started to squeeze harder.  
  
Kagura thought and said. "Swear on your soul you'll help us afterwards!"  
  
"Sure I swear!" he said.  
  
Kagura looked at Kanna then Kikyo then asked. "What can we do?"  
  
Naraku made another choaking sound then said, "Go find Eminem."  
  
"Eminem? Why?" Kagura asked.  
  
"Just do as I say!" he said.  
  
So the girls took the dollar and went to go find Eminem.  
  
"Sister, I think Naraku has lost it." Kanna said.  
  
"I don't remember when he ever had it." Kagura said.  
  
ZodiacBunny smiled at him and said. "Oh Naraku, your so beautiful! I saw your monkey form, but you look much better like this!" she tightened her squeeze and said. "I'll love you and squeeze you and hug you to pieces!"  
  
The three girls came back. "Okay! We got 'em!" They dropped a bag of M&Ms on the ground.  
  
"Baka's!" Naraku said. "Not M&Ms! Eminem the rapper!"  
  
"Fine, Grumpy!" Kagura said and walked off again with Kikyo and Kanna.  
  
"I wonder how good you would look in pink?" ZodiacBunny said out loud. "Or maybe coral would look better? Orange?"  
  
The girls came back with the rapper. Eminem looked at Kagura, "Watch it, Hoe!" he shouted.  
  
"Who are you calling a hoe, you-"  
  
"Okay, good!" Naraku said. "Now get him to start rapping."  
  
Eminem started singing "Cleaning out my closet."  
  
ZodiacBunny's ears twitched. She looked up at the rapper in shock. She let Naraku go and jumped at Eminem. She pinned his back to the ground and started to wash his mouth out with soap. "And this will teach you to cuss and speak bad stuff about your mama!"  
  
"Alright, we helped you!" Kagura said. "Now you help us!"  
  
Naraku smiled and said, "It's every man or woman for themselves!" and he started to run off.  
  
"But you sworeon your soul!" Kagura said.  
  
"My soul's already screwed!" he said.  
  
"Hey, Bunny girl!" Kagura said. ZodiacBunny looked up from her deep gum cleansing. "You're Naraku-poo is running off!" Kagura pointed at the fleeing bad guy.  
  
"NARAKU-POO!" ZodiacBunny jumped up and resumed chasing him.  
  
"Come on, girls!" Kagura said. "Let's go steal our own money!" and the three girls went down town in a quest for money.  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999999999  
  
I think the teams are changed.  
  
Team 1:Inu Yasha and Kagome  
  
Team 2: Kouga  
  
Team 3: Shippou and Kohaku  
  
Team 4: Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Tanuki  
  
Team 5: Kikyo, Kagura, and Kanna  
  
Team 6: Naraku and Buyo  
  
Team 7: Sesshomaru, Jaken, and Rin  
  
You don't have to make bets, just guess, which character(s) will win! 


	8. Shippou's Hidden Talent

Yes! Shippou the great is back! Feel my author powers! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (I had chocolate) ZING!  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 8: Shippou's Hidden Talent  
  
  
  
"I am full!" Sango sat back and started petting Kirara.  
  
"Lovely meal, Kagome. You truly are a master chef!" Miroku said setting his bowel down.  
  
"It's just instant ramen, guys!" Kagome said blushing.  
  
For some strange reason, Inu Yasha and Shippou were still eating. And Inu Yasha's usually the first one done.  
  
Miroku stood up. "I think I'm going to go take a walk; burn off dinner."  
  
"Me too." Sango got up and followed him which seemed a little bit out of character.  
  
Kagome opened her math book and started doing homework. Shippou gasped for fresh air after eating non stop. Then realized he hadn't finished his soda. He picked it up with both hands and took a big sip. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. *URP!*  
  
Inu Yasha looked at Shippou out of the corner of his eye and Kagome looked up from her homework in shock. "Shippou! What do we say?"  
  
"Excuse me, Kagome!" he said.  
  
She went back to her homework, and Inu Yasha went back to eating. Shippou looked at his soda and got an idea. He took another sip. *URP! URP! URP!*  
  
Kagome looked up at him and he said. "Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!"  
  
When she resumed homeworking, Inu Yasha set his bowel down and sat in his regular serious sitting pose.  
  
Shippou grinned and took a long sip. *URP! URP! URP! URP URP! URP! URP URP!* (Tune to row, row, row your boat) he went through the whole song. Inu Yasha glared at him as if he was trying to concentrate on something and Shippou was interrupting him. "Do you mind?"  
  
Shippou started to say "Excuse me" for each burp then Inu Yasha said, "Keh! Shut it!"  
  
Shippou covered his mouth with his hands. He poured the soda in through his fingers and said in his burping voice, *INU YASHA!* Inu Yasha frowned and closed his eyes. After a few more seconds, Shippou took another sip and said *BEAR MY CHILD!* he took another sip and said *INU YASHA! COME OVER TO THE DARK SIDE AND PICK UP SOME CHOCOLATE COVERED RAISINS ON THE WAY THERE!* A few veins started to pop on Inu Yasha's forehead.  
  
You'd think that by now, Shippou would've had the sense to stop. The kitsune took another sip and said *NARAKU EATS POO!* Inu Yasha then burst out laughing. Shippou started laughing, then Inu Yasha stood up and kicked him into a tree.  
  
Kagome looked up from her homework and gasped, "SIT!"  
  
WHAM!  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Apparently Inu Yasha still hadn't learned his lesson about kicking adorable, innocent kitsunes into trees. So in the pause, Shippou tied Inu Yasha up and stuck him in a shed, where he would receive the worst punishment of his life!  
  
"Worse then 'sit's?" Inu Yasha asked.  
  
"Oh yes, much worse." Shippou said. He got out a record player and turned it to evil villan music. "BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! !"  
  
Inu Yasha: -_- ;; "Have you been eating chocolate-?"  
  
"SILENCE!" Shippou screamed. He got out Kagome's CD player and turned it on. A voice came on and said, "AND NOW, CELINE DION'S GREATEST HITS!!"  
  
Inu Yasha: OO !! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! !"  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Sorry, but I'm not a Celine Dion fan. I think she's a whinny singer and it was pretty cheap of her to get Destiny's Child as her opening act that one time. Goodbye chocolate, HELLOOOOO MARZIPAN!!!! 


End file.
